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Finding Agreement

coworkers arguing

What to do when you and your coworker are in the middle of a disagreement.

We all have those times when we disagree, whether it’s a in business or a in personal relationship. But what can you do when there doesn’t seem to be any common ground?

Before you start looking for a solution, it’s very important to remember three things.

  • Until a person is ready to listen, they cannot take in what you are saying, no matter how good it is.
  • When a person has ownership in coming up with a solution, they are more likely to see that solution through.
  • The element (or person) with the most flexibility is the element that can have the most effect on the situation.

Now, you must be the element with the most flexibility because you’re the one that’s reading this article!

And hopefully, you’ll be the one that will be able to create an atmosphere that encourages both you and the other person to come up with a solution that works.

As always, the first step is to create a setting where the other person is willing to listen to what you have to say.

The way you do this is to come up with three things that you and the other person can agree on. An example of this would be as follows:

  1. Neither one of us are happy with how things have been going lately.
  2. So far, neither one of us have been able to come up with a solution that’s agreeable to both of us.
  3. Yet, it’s important to both of us to come up with some steps we can take to move forward.

Each time you make a statement that the other person agrees with, they either internally or externally say ‘yes’ and begin to let down their guard, so to speak.

When someone feels heard, they become less defensive. This creates the atmosphere that we are all on the same page, we are all hearing each other, and there is common ground from which to move forward.

At this point, by making statements like these, that both of you know are true, you have your listener’s attention. So, this is where you can ask for new ideas, or you can propose a new idea of your own.

While it may take more than one conversation, you are creating an environment where more discussion is possible.

Cynthia Becker
Life Coach/Wellness Coach
NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer
Professional Psychic